IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
by Erma Bombeck

I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was
practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a
lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love yous".. more "I'm sorrys"... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it...and never give it back.

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This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

 BREAKFAST
 1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
 LUNCH
 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
 1 cup steamed spinach
 1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
 MID-AFTERNOON SNACK
 The rest of Oreos in the package
 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and
 whipped cream
 1 jar hot fudge sauce
 DINNER
 2 loaves garlic bread
 4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
 1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars
 EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from
freezer)
 OTHER HELPFUL TIPS
*If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
 *Anything consumed while standing has no calories. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
*Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to his/her plate. (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)
 *REMEMBER: STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS
 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine"
 (Proverbs 17:22).

I've never made a fortune
and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.
And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven't got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loving ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'cause my cup has overflowed.
O, Remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe about
the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.

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 The first step is to IMAGINE